"I'm looking for a dare to be great situation."

I wonder if I have been ruined by 80's teen films. You know...."Say Anything", "Pretty in Pink", "Sixteen Candles", "Valley Girl", and pretty much anything starring the Brat Pack. (I'll leave my love for late 90's teen flicks out of this post). Do their happy endings, opposite side of the tracks-love stories keep me coming back for more? Have these become so engrained in me that I eventually see myself as an Andie, Samantha or Diane Court of various situations?

In Lindsey Alley's blog, she writes how a friend of her says life is an extention of high school, I wonder if this is true. Most of the time I hope it's not, and I hope Marc Blucas's character in "The Jane Austen's Book Club" was right, "high school was over a long time ago." At my last university I can say that for the most part this is true, but that was a fucking huge school. Here, I'm not so sure. Even last time during my "brief" stay, I felt the high school-ish undercurrents. One of my former flatmates was desperate to be seen as popular, even though she always said, "it didn't matter."

In a recent conversation with a friend, she said that any romantic entanglement with the boy I was into last time or his friend that I later realized I was into, would have been complicated due to the fact that we swam in different social circles. I agree with her observation more with the latter male than I do with with the former (since his social awkwardness may have balanced things out).

I have never been popular, and I learned at an early age that I was never going to be popular. I also learned that I wasn't completely ready to sell my soul and kill whatever made me, Me, in order to hangout with the football players and the cheerleaders. But this hasn't stopped me from liking "popular" boys. However, while these boys are indeed "popular," there tends to be something that suggests they don't really belong or that they wouldn't mind dating someone outside their scene. Perhaps that is why I tend to "fall" for those types, the ones who seem to have some depth. Blane fell for Andie; Jake Ryan chose Samantha, and Lloyd Dobler picked Diane Court. The girls were outsiders, the boys popular and yet they worked. The boys I chose were unwilling to cross that line.

My dear friend Dee would tell me to just "fuck it," and that I need to find someone worthy of me. She says I need to stop wondering if I'm good enough for "them". I know she is right, but I still can't stop wondering what role John Hughes has played in my way of thinking.