I was recently on a friend's facebook page and noticed a troll (who apparently added them just to write horrible things on their page) commenting on any post that mentioned another mutual friend. Now this troll was telling the person that our mutual friend never liked them, and basically just stirring up trouble. This all came out of nowhere, and while I doubt its validity, it made me think of the times our "friends" get involved in situations that really don't involve them.
A while ago I was having issues with a friend and a "mutual friend" of ours thought it would be best to intervene. Now depending on the circumstances, I can understand people trying to resolve tension between two of their friends. For example, if you live with, work with, see them everyday, their issues eventually become yours; you're caught in the middle because you have to witness their avoidance of one another or, their curtness whenever they interact. However this was not the case with the original friend. Initially our communication was limited at best and just became less so. I'm sure if one of us was brought up in the conversation, we didn't exactly giving glowing reviews of the other.
The thing is neither of us wanted her to interfere, and she ultimately ended up causing more problems between us. I think the main thing is she didn't really know who either of us were individually or as friends. She formed her own impression of how she thought things should be or how they were. It is possible that she wanted some part in the glory of "reuniting" us. But people who do that aren't really friends.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
When it's over...
I was looking through my Myspace blog last week when I came across this post from over a year ago.
Rock Steady
It's never gonna last
It's never gonna make it back alive
So now can we relax?
I really hope that we will actually survive
I should be used to things popping up when I need them to, like this song. The first 3 lines describe how I feel about a certain issue with a friend. I use the term friend loosely as I haven't seen her for 2.5 years and our communication has been limited, until recently when drama involving the both of us emerged. At the moment I feel that perhaps it isn't worth trying to work things out. Maybe some day down the line, once things have settled we'll be able to salvage things or start a new friendship really. But I feel like we both don't really want to make the effort and given circumstances that maybe it would be best if we don't. I'm not saying cutting ties completely, but why try to create a facade that suggests everything is ok? Why try to sweep something under the rug when you know it will still be there waiting for an inopportune time to emerge?
The only option is to rebuild what's left and not try to hide all that's wrong. I don't think either of us is in a situation to start rebuilding things. So the acknowledgment that things are on hold and that our friendship as it was is indeed over would I think be the best thing to do. Then maybe we could "relax".
I've been debating how I feel about the last line. I do think in our own ways we will "survive" this. I can't deny anything that has happened, so that will not be my route, nor would it be my choice if I had it. Lesson learned and now it's time to move on. I'm not sure what she will do. I've been asking myself do I want any remnant of what we once had to survive so that perhaps one day we can be friends. The truth is, I'm not sure. I suppose only time will tell.
It's funny to look at it now and know how things ended. Once upon a time there was a part of me that was really questioning letting this friendship go. Early in the friendship I had thought she had the potential to be a ride or die friend. But even back then there were signs that everything was about words and no follow through. Say what looks good in the situation, but never actually have someone's back. She's a fan girl kind of friend. If you're a fan of hers she'll be a fan of yours, and at the end of the day that's not really a friend. Friendships come with arguments and it's about pushing through those to get to a better place.
It's weird to be out of the situation and still be able to watch how she treats the people we're both connected to. The friends she's false with, the ones she doesn't appreciate. Ultimately the best decision was to let the friendship not survive.
Rock Steady
It's never gonna last
It's never gonna make it back alive
So now can we relax?
I really hope that we will actually survive
I should be used to things popping up when I need them to, like this song. The first 3 lines describe how I feel about a certain issue with a friend. I use the term friend loosely as I haven't seen her for 2.5 years and our communication has been limited, until recently when drama involving the both of us emerged. At the moment I feel that perhaps it isn't worth trying to work things out. Maybe some day down the line, once things have settled we'll be able to salvage things or start a new friendship really. But I feel like we both don't really want to make the effort and given circumstances that maybe it would be best if we don't. I'm not saying cutting ties completely, but why try to create a facade that suggests everything is ok? Why try to sweep something under the rug when you know it will still be there waiting for an inopportune time to emerge?
The only option is to rebuild what's left and not try to hide all that's wrong. I don't think either of us is in a situation to start rebuilding things. So the acknowledgment that things are on hold and that our friendship as it was is indeed over would I think be the best thing to do. Then maybe we could "relax".
I've been debating how I feel about the last line. I do think in our own ways we will "survive" this. I can't deny anything that has happened, so that will not be my route, nor would it be my choice if I had it. Lesson learned and now it's time to move on. I'm not sure what she will do. I've been asking myself do I want any remnant of what we once had to survive so that perhaps one day we can be friends. The truth is, I'm not sure. I suppose only time will tell.
It's funny to look at it now and know how things ended. Once upon a time there was a part of me that was really questioning letting this friendship go. Early in the friendship I had thought she had the potential to be a ride or die friend. But even back then there were signs that everything was about words and no follow through. Say what looks good in the situation, but never actually have someone's back. She's a fan girl kind of friend. If you're a fan of hers she'll be a fan of yours, and at the end of the day that's not really a friend. Friendships come with arguments and it's about pushing through those to get to a better place.
It's weird to be out of the situation and still be able to watch how she treats the people we're both connected to. The friends she's false with, the ones she doesn't appreciate. Ultimately the best decision was to let the friendship not survive.
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